A Tale of Two Cows
"A Tale of Two Cows" is the seventeenth episode of Drawn Together. Storyline The housemates are distinctly unhappy upon learning that Wooldoor Sockbat has been making excursions into the dangerous Live Action Forest, but they are even more upset when they discover what he brought back with him: a live action cow. They return Live Action Cow to the Forest, but Wooldoor feels he cannot live without her, and goes to get her back. When he reaches the forest, he is attacked by the most fearsome creature in the Live Action Forest, Live Action Squirrel With Big Balls. The housemates (who have followed Wooldoor there) are terrified, but just when all hope seems lost, Live Action Cow shows up and fends the squirrel off. The housemates, out of gratitude, decide to take the cow back home, but almost as soon as they get there, the cow begins foaming at the mouth. Foxxy Love informs Wooldoor that Live Action Cow has developed rabies, and Wooldoor will have to take the cow out back and shoot her. Wooldoor takes the cow outside, but he is unable to finish the deed, so he fakes her death and returns to the house. The housemates discover what Wooldoor did when they see a news report that the cow has gone on a rampage, and is destroying town after town. After chasing her all over the countryside, the group finally finds Live Action Cow back at the Drawn Together house. Federal agents swarm the place, preparing to shoot the cow, but Wooldoor steps in front of the cow to keep her from being shot. The agents inform Wooldoor that they're prepared to kill him too if necessary, but just as they are about to shoot Wooldoor, Live Action Cow jumps in front of the bullet, saving Wooldoor's life. Wooldoor is saddened by Live Action Cow's death, but comes to terms with his grief through a montage of their times together. Meanwhile, Toot Braunstein is depressed and frustrated that she can't get anyone to escort her to her fat camp's ten year reunion. She retreats to the attic to comfort herself by gorging on cotton candy (which is actually the fiberglass insulation in the walls), but while she is there, she discovers the answer to her problems: a video game cheat manual which can make Xandir do anything she wants, including accompanying her to her reunion. Toot arrives at the reunion with Xandir in tow, and much to the campers' envy and Xandir's confusion, they actually share something resembling a romantic experience together. However, just as Toot takes the stage with Xandir to be honored, the other campers find Toot's cheat book and expose her scam, leaving Toot mortified and Xandir upset. Toot becomes depressed once more and Xandir, taking pity, tries to comfort Toot by making her feel that at least part of their magical time was real and not just the result of the cheat book. This makes Toot very briefly happy before she challenges him to prove it. She promptly jumps on him and proceeds to have wild sex with him, despite the fact that he is clearly traumatized by it. Afterward, Xandir tells Toot that he does like her, but he is still gay after all, and can't be with her romantically. She asks if he would be attracted to her if he weren't gay. Xandir says no, but he likes her as a friend, and slept with her out of pity. Toot says she'll take that, and promptly jumps on him again. Later on many of the camp mates come in and upon seeing Xandir and toot having sex they proceed to join in as well as toot sings while Xandir screams in pain. Musical number: "A Moment Like This", sung by Toot at the episode's climax. The song was originally performed by Kelly Clarkson. Also, Brooke Ramel's "I Wanted You to Know" makes its third appearance in the series, this time playing during the montage where Wooldoor remembers Live Action Cow. Finally, two other songs, "Honey Baked Ham" and "On a Pizza", are briefly heard during the dance. The DVD version of the episode features a full version of the former song, played during Toot's first romp with Xandir, a scene which did not appear in the televised version of the episode (see Notes and inside references below). Characters Major Roles * Wooldoor Sockbat * Toot Braunstein * Xandir * Live Action Cow Minor Roles * Foxxy Love * Princess Clara * Captain Hero * Spanky Ham * Ling-Ling * Fat Albert * Live Action Squirrel With Big Balls * Jelly Doughnut Babes Notes and inside references * When the cast is at the dinner table (complete with Sabbath candles), Captain Hero says grace by first speaking in Hebrew, waving his hands as women do in the Jewish blessing, then making a reference to Scientology; ("And may señor L. Ron Hubbard watch over us all"). Traditionally, males only light Sabbath candles when there are no women present, and Passover isn't mentioned, at least not in English. Thus the inconsistent religious affiliations and sexual tendencies of Captain Hero, previously demonstrated in "Little Orphan Hero" and "Super Nanny", are elegantly blended. ** Toot performs the hand motions along with Captain Hero, but none of the others accompany them in this; this, coupled with her last name of Braunstein, would seem to indicate Toot is Jewish. * After Wooldoor talks to the fire fairy, the image of a house on fire appears in his eyes; the house is the Drawn Together house. * The live-action shot of Foxxy's feet is the same one that appeared in "Hot Tub", only the positions of the right and left feet are reversed. In both cases, though Foxxy is wearing boots in the scene, the live action feet are bare. The live action shot of her teeth is the same one that appeared in "The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist" during the close-up shot of her victory celebration. * Captain Hero's line "Save yourselves!" was originally used in "Hot Tub". In an interview on Comedy Central's website, Jess Harnell states that he always uses the line when signing autographs, believing it is a perfect summation of Captain Hero's character.http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/drawn_together/videos/behind_the_scenes/index.jhtml * Through the first half of the episode, everyone refers to Live Action Cow as male, but halfway through the episode, they suddenly start referring to the cow as female, with no explanation. (Live Action Cow must be considered female, however, since the photograph that the show uses is of a female cow with udders). * Foxxy appears to have regained possession of the Foxxy 5 van, which is also fully repaired. Previously, her battered bandmates had absconded with it after Foxxy ran them over and left them for dead in the garage in "Captain Hero's Marriage Pact". * This is the second episode in which Ling-Ling has no speaking role, the first being "Dirty Pranking No. 2". Ling-Ling would also appear without dialogue in a number of future episodes as well, including "The Lemon-AIDS Walk", "The Drawn Together Clip Show", "Spelling Applebee's", and "Unrestrainable Trainable". Ling-Ling also does not speak in the televised version of "Alzheimer's That Ends Well", though he does have a single line in the DVD version of the episode. * Foxxy refers to her child Timmy again, whom she had previously mentioned in "Dirty Pranking No. 2", implying that she had to sell him on the black market. Here she claims that she had to shoot Timmy when it looked like he had rabies (though the child claimed he was just brushing his teeth). Future Timmy references would be of an even more random nature, indicating that his presence is more of a running gag than show canon. * The montage of Wooldoor's memories of Live Action Cow includes a number of references to previous episodes. In one shot, Wooldoor reenacts the Elián González photograph (which the show also used in "Foxxy vs. the Board of Education") while wearing his hat and goggles from "The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist". The shot of Wooldoor walking in crutches comes from "Requiem for a Reality Show". One shot features the boat clip from "Xandir and Tim, Sitting in a Tree", with Wooldoor and Live Action Cow replacing Xandir and Tim. (Though that episode had yet to air, it was produced before this one.) The shot featuring the two in space comes from "Clara's Dirty Little Secret", with Wooldoor and Live Action Cow replacing Clara and her date. Also appearing in the montage are the Sweetcake genocide of the Sockbats, Wooldoor's suicide, and Wooldoor's Dig Dug coffin escape (all from "The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist, Part II"), as well as another appearance of the oft-used "Monkey Man" shot and a picture of the two as anchors for the 6:00 news, and a picture of them in a parachute. In each case, Live Action Cow is digitally inserted into the shot in an obviously artificial manner. *Closed captioning error: During Wooldoor's memory montage, a caption can be seen on the TV version, but the audio's not heard. The caption says, "Foxxy: Wooldoor, that's just plain stupid." * The news anchor who delivers the report about Live Action Cow's rampage looks exactly like the man who administered Ling-Ling's driving test in "Super Nanny". * After this episode aired, a clip of an extended, more graphic version of the Toot/Xandir sex scene began circulating on the internet, but it has since been removed by all sites known to have hosted it. As a way of promoting the upcoming Season Two DVD, Comedy Central showed the scene uncensored on Secret Stash in September 2007. The scene appears intact on the DVD, along with an additional scene in which the other campers find Toot and Xandir having sex, and proceed to jump in the bed as well, much to Xandir's horror. Animated cameos * Barney the Dinosaur is present at Toot's amputation scene, only colored blue instead of his usual purple. * At one point when Toot is in the attic, the "camera" pans upwards through the ceiling/attic floor. In the space between the ceiling and attic floor are the skeletons of Bart and Lisa Simpson; The Simpsons itself often employs similar jokes. * In another Simpsons spoof, a scene showing the rabid Live Action Cow's rampage through the cartoon universe states that the Springfield within ''The Simpsons''' continuity is in Connecticut, referencing the running gag that the show never reveals the true state. ** Bart Simpson can also be seen hanging out a window when the news broadcast switches to the scene in Springfield, Connecticut. ** The "Springfield Reporter Tom" himself is a parody of The Simpsons Style, he was never been seen, in the original Series also he has five fingers instead of original characters' four fingers in each hand,The Dead kids haven't been seen in The Simpsons, The Car of Homer is different than the original one, The original Car is Pink with four doors, while in Drawn Together it's blue with two doors only. ** The police sketch is another reference to an animated dog Homer voiced for a commercial/cartoon. * This episode also refers to Bedrock from The Flintstones, the futuristic city from The Jetsons, and even Comedy Central's own South Park. ** When the cast in the Foxxy 5 van enters Bedrock, Clara comments that Bedrock was ruined because its citizens had too much of "a gay old time." This is the last line in the closing theme to The Flintstones (though in later episodes the line was changed to "a great old time"). In Clara's view, the city was punished for being gay friendly. Also, when the group is driving through Bedrock, you can see everyone's feet under the van making it move, referring to how everyone "drove" in The Flintstones. **In the futuristic city, Captain Hero says, "We need to stop this crazy thing," a reference to the last line by George Jetson when he takes Astro for a walk during the closing credits sequence and gets stuck on the speeding treadmill after Astro chases a cat. **Everyone in this scene is dead, except Rosie the robot, since she is still functionning, also George Jetson was completely destroyed left with a head, hand, and leg, this is a reference to the ending credits when he got stuck on the speeding treadmill after Astro chases a cat. ** When South Park is shown, Spanky says, "I bet if we lived here, more people would watch," referring to South Park's higher ratings. Also, everyone visible has been killed except for Kenny McCormick. This is a reversal of a running gag on South Park, as Kenny was well-known for dying in just about every episode of the show's first five seasons. Ms. Choksondik can also be seen with a censor bar covering her mouth; in the DVD version, a penis is in her mouth, a literal depiction of the gag her name is based on. * The emcee at Toot's reunion is based on Fat Albert, only he is wearing a blue shirt instead of Fat Albert's usual red. Cultural references * This episode's title is a play on the Charles Dickens novel A Tale of Two Cities. * The beginning of the episode, where the housemates see Wooldoor come out of a closet, is a reference to the story The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. * The title of Xandir's cheat book, The Legend of Xandir, is a reference to [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda series|the Legend of Zelda series]]. The controller attached to the cheat book is a Sony PlayStation DualShock controller; however, there have never been any Zelda games released for a Sony console, the franchise being owned by and exclusive to Nintendo. * The first cheat Toot uses from the Xandir cheat book is an adaptation of the Konami Code, one of the first video game cheat codes to gain widespread notability. While the original code is defined as "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start", Toot uses a variant that ends "B, A, B, A, start". As the controller is for a PlayStation (which lacks A and B buttons), the code is carried out by pressing X and circle in place of B and A, respectively; however, Toot still says "B" and "A" when she recites the code. * Wooldoor hides Live Action Cow in the closet in the same way that Elliot hid E.T. in the closet in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. * This episode makes several references to Star Trek: ** Captain Hero's candle igniting laser eyes make the same sound as phaser weapons used by the Federation. ** When Toot asks the housemates which of them is going to escort her to the reunion, they all immediately fade out of the scene, using the same special effects used on Star Trek when characters beamed into and out of a particular location using the transporter. ** The music during the fight between Live Action Cow and Live Action Squirrel with Big Balls is similar to the Star Trek fight theme. * When the group is about to take Live Action Cow back to the forest, Wooldoor tries to stop them by claiming that the others won't take her back because she will have his stink on her, referring to the urban legend that mother birds will reject their babies if they detect human scent on them.http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/babybird.asp * When Toot thinks she might be confusing her memories with a Tom Cruise movie, the movie being parodied is Born on the Fourth of July. * The scene of Toot standing on stage getting doused with blood is a reference to Carrie. * Right before everyone is about to leave following the news story about the cow's rampage, Wooldoor sings a line from the Beatles' song "And I Love Her". * At one point, Foxxy says that live-action and animation don't mix. Though many films over the years have combined live action and animation, Foxxy is most likely referring to the recent spate of live action films with CGI-rendered main characters, such as Scooby-Doo, Garfield, and The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. The CGI effects in these films are widely perceived as being awkwardly rendered and poorly integrated into the film's live action sequences, creating an unrealistic, jarring effect. * Live Action Squirrel with Big Balls is a photograph of a Cape Ground Squirrel that has been circulating for some time, often being marketed and printed on posters and greeting cards to promote sexual innuendo humor. * The sound effects heard when Live Action Squirrel with Big Balls is chased off are similar to those heard in Hanna-Barbera cartoons when a character runs away. * After Xandir agrees to escort her to the reunion, Toot does the truffle shuffle in celebration. This is a reference to The Goonies. * Wooldoor's story in this episode is a parody of Old Yeller; several scenes parallel the film directly. Just like the dog in Old Yeller, Live Action Cow contracts rabies protecting the group from a wild animal; finally, Wooldoor, just like Travis in Old Yeller, is forced to take her out and shoot her. * The scene where a flock of birds swarm the housemates is a reference to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. * The camp's name, Camp Really Fat David, is a pun on the name of the presidential retreat Camp David. * The camp reunion theme is "Enchantment Under the Seafood," a reference to "Enchantment Under the Sea," the school dance in Back to the Future. * The Jelly Donuts' ring leader at the fat camp who torments Toot is modeled after the Harvey Comics character Little Lotta, a strong, overweight girl who appeared in the Richie Rich comics before being spun off into her own comic book series. * After gutting the truck driver, Wooldoor wears his skin and poses as the driver to tell his family, "I love you." This is a reference to serial killer Ed Gein, who not only would take the skin of his victims and make furniture covering, but would wear it as if he were the victims themselves. * When the fat campers feast, the scene is a parody of the lowering of livestock into the Velociraptor pit in Jurassic Park; the goat resembles those from the comic The Far Side. The piece of meat falling out of Toot's mouth also refers to Jurassic Park, namely the scene where the goat's leg falls onto the tour car's sunroof. * When the fat women use the cheat book to manipulate Xandir, they briefly turn him into a Mario Kart character. In two other transformations, Xandir has giant feet and a big head; this is a reference to cheat codes from the game Banjo-Kazooie used to make those changes in the main character, Banjo. * At the reunion, Xandir is wearing black pants pulled low enough to show his underwear, a bow tie around his neck, and no shirt—the official "uniform" of sorts for Chippendales dancers. * During the sex scene between Xandir and Toot, Toot is seen being lowered onto him in a wooden contraption and snorting. This is a reference to the urban legend that Catherine the Great was killed while attempting to have sex with a horse in such a manner. * When Live Action Cow saves Wooldoor by jumping in front of him in slow motion, the sound effect that plays is the one that was heard in The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman whenever the title characters would perform their superhuman feats, usually also in slow motion. Streaming It can be viewed at the official Drawn Together website here. Tale of Two Cows, A Category:Wooldoor Episodes Category:Toot Episodes Category:Xandir Episodes Category:Season Two Episodes Category:Romance-Themed Episodes